I've been a victim of love & you're the criminal
by yourenogood
Summary: AU: James hates love. He hates having to pick his mom up everytime she gets her heart broken. He promised himself that he will never let himself fall that hard – but one summer, everything changes for him.  Jarlos & Kogan!


**Summary**: James hates love. He hates having to pick his mom up everytime she gets her heart broken. He promised himself that he will never let himself fall that hard – but one summer, everything changes. JARLOS & slight Kogan.

**AN**: I don't know how well this will work but I'm trying it out. This story will start in July…then go back to the beginning when they meet…..and etc. I hope that isn't confusing. and hahaha, I swear to you, I will finish my other two stories soon. :) Xoxoxo

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><p>"Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead." ~ Adele (Someone Like You)<p>

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><p><em><strong>JULY<strong>_

I was waiting for the moment where he would make me laugh but I knew somehow it wasn't going to happen today. His normal child-like animated face was replaced with one that was serious. It was weird to me.

"I heard you talking to Kendall today..."

"Yeah he's cool guy….one of my best friends. We were talking about music and his boyfriend Logan."

"Yeah, he is, but, no, that's not what I heard you guys talking about."

I rolled my eyes. He was sounding like a jealous boyfriend. "What are you getting at Carlos?"

I looked up to see him looking torn, broken. Characteristics I wasn't used to seeing in the normal childlike happy Carlos. "I just…I didn't know you felt that way. I thought I meant something to you," he said looking at me with those dang gorgeous eyes. Shit.

"You do, you're just-" I start before he interrupts me.

"I'm just your summertime boyfriend, fling, whatever. Yeah, yeah I heard you. I don't want to hear those words a second time."

I couldn't help it. Harsh words left my lips. "Did you seriously think we'd last beyond the summer?"

"Yes, no, I don't know. I would have given us a chance but you-"

"Carlos, you're just silly. You were thinking we would last forever, am I right?" I had to laugh at that. Nothing lasts forever.

"No, I didn't think that exactly. But I would have tried."

"Long distance relationships don't work out, Carlos." I spit out harshly.

"You don't know until you try, James," he spat back.

"Well I'm not going to try."

"James. Why are you so afraid of this?" He asked me, coming a little too close for comfort. He grabbed my hand, entwining our fingers. My heart started to beat out of my chest.

"I'm not afraid." I find myself saying quietly, doing everything but looking him in the eyes. "I'm not afraid." I say as if saying it a second time would make it true. "It's just easier this way. You and me not together after-…"

A frown. A huff. His hand was no longer holding mine. "Oh pretty boy. You thought I could be your summer romance, right? I'm perfect for that right? You only have to deal with me these three months. I could entertain you; make you laugh all the time. And we could mess around, using each other and when you gotta go, it's oh, okay, see you later then?"

He made it sound bad when he stated it that way…but that was what I wanted from the very start. I didn't want to get attached. "Carlos, you have to understand. I don't want to stay here. It's not happening. I'm going to go to college to study Theatre and I can't take anything with me."

"So am I like a burden, James?" he said, putting his hands up in the air. "Because you're making it sound like I am," a loud sigh escaped the tan boy's lips. "James. Why are you doing this?"

"Because Carlos, my mom has been through god knows how many relationships and they always end the same," I begin. "You give and give and give and in the end, you get nothing. You have your heartbroken and it's a big mess and it sucks. The beginnings are always beautiful though, I will give you that and that part is easy. But the endings? They always suck."

"Who do you think you're talking to right now, James?" he said as if he was telling the beginning of a great joke. "My father has had like ten wives. I've been related to like half the state at one time or another. You know how many siblings I have…"

"There you go making a joke of everything." I shook my head at him, even though, honestly, him joking around made me smile. His never-ending jokes were the best part of my summer. "I wasn't kidding when I said I only wanted a summer boyfriend. I'm sorry but I need to go now."

He didn't say anything. He didn't stop me. So I could easily get into my car right then and drive back to my mother's beach house. I just opened the door and laughed in my head. There, I exposed my cold heart to Carlos. I should have told him from the start; I'm only good at letting people down. That's the definition of James Diamond. You should never allow me to come close to your heart because all I'm good at is breaking hearts. I never keep anyone long.

"I guess I sort of understand why you feel this way," he said as I took a seat in my car, his voice surprising me, "but you're real stupid. You, James Diamond, are missing out on the best thing in the world: Love. Love must be pretty great when it actually works out, I mean if it wasn't…there wouldn't be so many love songs out there…all of them telling beautiful stories..."

Of course he would bring up music. It was the one thing we both loved. We both lived and breathed music. And I made a mistake of singing with him all of those nights. But the one night…we sang that song that, god…it was like… "They don't tell stories, Carlos. Lyrics are just lyrics. They mean nothing." But they did. They meant so much. The songs we sang together meant everything to me. We even wrote one together. It was silly and it was random but it was us. It was special to me.

"Well if you say, so. I guess this is goodbye then?" he said as if he was giving up. I could hear his voice crack when he said the word goodbye. It made me want to hug him, make the silly boy happy but I didn't. I couldn't. I wouldn't.

"Yeah." I said with no emotion and started my car.

"James." He spoke my name so sweetly, and he placed a comb in my hand. _My lucky comb. _The one he always stole from me. I watched him as he closed his eyes and spoke thoughtfully. "I feel like we could have gone either way, y'know? Maybe even being together for the long while…or y'know you could have been the one that believed in us more and I'd be the one breaking your heart." Yeah right. He would have never broken my heart. It just wasn't Carlos. Even if we stayed together, it would end in the same way as now; I'd break his heart just like all the boys before him. But the first part? If I wasn't so cold…

I shrugged my shoulders, not agreeing nor denying his words. "I suppose."

He grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the car, giving me one last hug. His face went into my shirt and I knew that this shirt would have his smell forever stuck to it. He stood up on his tiptoes, all adorable like and kissed my head. He started to let go of me and for one last time I took in everything I liked about him: his smile, his wild hair, his height, his tan skin and how it was as if he fit perfectly in my arms. _Fuck._

He pulled away from me, standing off a little awkwardly. He gave me a smile, one that didn't reach his eyes. It made me frown. I would be the one to make the guy who always smiled frown. Logan would kill me when he found out (or rather send Kendall to kill me). "I guess I'll see you around, Minnesota," he spoke softly.

I just nodded my head. I watched as the brunette turned around and went down the sandy path and out of my sight. I watched him until he was no longer in my sight. I sighed and started my car and went down the road to my mother's stupid beach house. I just walked in and didn't even say hello to her. It didn't matter anyway. She was kissing up on some guy half her age anyway.

I slammed my bedroom door once I got up the steps and put my face in my pillow. My heart hurt. My head hurt. Everything hurt. I got out of the stupid clothes that smelt like him and got into my Pjs. I sighed, placing one of my headphones into my ears. Music always helped me get my mind off things. It was my best friend. I pushed play and of course, the first song we sang together came on. I took the headphones out of my ears and threw them across the room. The song then blasted from my iPod, as if it was making fun of me, lyrics hitting me hard, memories of the two of us singing the song filling my head. I could remember the exact moment. Me freezing up singing, him joining me on stage, making everyone laugh and then our voices blending perfectly together when we actually sang. I sighed loudly, pushing the off button before placing it on my desk. I needed some ice cream badly. That always cured my mom when she was sad…but I didn't get why I was so hurt right now. I was the one that broke up with him, right? I should be happy but as much as I tried to be, I wasn't. I couldn't get his stupid little face out of my head.


End file.
